Forget Me Not 1

Forget Me Not 1
 
By 
 
George O. Obikoya 
 
She passed away a while ago but we will not forget her favourite song, we all still sing 
the song and with fond memories of her we even dance her dance, the gentle motion of a mind 
we loved, and still love one forever always on our minds, we saw in her the bond we cherish in 
the life she gave to us, the joy of motherhood that so glistened on her cherubic face it graced 
her smile a song adorned, we still remember how she made us smile along, even as she a word  
or two advised to inculcate her points embedded in a song, which not singing not dancing could 
not from our consciousness erase, we still remember and have not forgotten morals in an air 
mysteries of a song, a very special song, a song from which we learnt a lot that still guides us 
in void, our very precious world, why we will love a mother dear until the end of time, ever 
true love we had and shared with one and all, for she instructed us to love, to give of us to all. 
 
She passed away a very long time now, yet we remember her as if she’s still with us, her love 
indelible her fondness for life we imbibed in songs, her sweet voice greened a nightingale in it 
a guided tour of life, both when she talked to us or sang to us or even sang alone as she 
would put it simply feeling up to what she liked to say was just her way of celebrating life, 
something she taught us all to do, life doubtless worth living no matter hard it may be hard it is 
even unbearable it seems, she always said, a flicker of brightness may in horizons be 
to lighten our gloomy days she reminded us something we took to heart that’s guiding us in life 
as we venture peregrinating void, singing along a precious little song, of peace, and love, 
of service to our fellow pilgrims in a voided space, our world, guiding us to appreciate 
the blessings of living here in our void, of opportunities to serve to save our void, our world. 
 
We sing along in void, we learnt our lesson long ago we learnt our lesson well, we learnt it in 
a song, we pine distraught we lost a mother quite a while ago, one we adore to whom we were 
attached, who bonded with us in a special way, sang songs to us about the goodness in us all 
about taking care of ourselves and others and our precious world, she taught us to be diligent 
in all we did to self-reliant be, she wanted the best for us told us she would have to leave 
us at some point in time, that she would have to bid us all adieu and surely it would hurt, we all 
agreed but did not understand how someone dead may hurt and we asked her only to be even 
more flabbergasted contemplating how she tried explaining her response, which she decided to 
telling a story nothing fancy just a simple story as she put it something that we could all 
relate to in our present state yet set in moribund states one alive ‘deceased’ is in a void. 
 
At first we thought she was suggesting that one’s mental status different is when about to die, 
back then we did not know what dying meant what being about to die entailed, but we knew we must hurt
losing one so dear one to whom we were firmly attached meant that we did not know how to begin 
preparing for her loss much more what we would do after she left us clueless we were as to who 
would meet our needs desire for safety and security to mention not who would nourish and who 
would pamper us our world would fall apart we reckoned we were fried we felt, imagining our state 
being all alone heart-breaking was for us, what we did not know was that it would also be the same 
for one that would be leaving us, we did not know what she might feel albeit if even then we 
assumed it might not be incident-free exiting life; some pain difficulty breathing even 
some loss of appetite and sleep, unpleasant physiological processes would be involved. 
 
Now we know better as we did after she tried explaining to us what she was alluding to 
declaring she would hurt, as in a story short presented in a quiz for short, the story of 
a mother who was leaving on a voyage with her children but must remain veiled must not at all 
reveal to them her identity lest the children die, some plague she would not able be to stop 
that spares her but that kills her children she asked if would hurt to even ponder let alone to try 
to wager on, quizzing us on choosing between having or not her children on the trip blind to 
their mother also being aboard more so as she could not speak with them if even she aware was
someone else was there playing her role looking after them, wondering not only if she must not 
ignore the wager ride her angst until the very end, for she did not intend to see any 
of her children in pain or dead she would rather have them with her if even able not to talk. 
 
We had no clue then how to solve the quiz, to start with we did not know how if dead anyone is 
able to take a trip with someone still alive, and may hurt dead and gone, even her efforts to 
explain what she was saying hardly hitting the chord it had to we lacked back in those days at will 
we spelt our choices in our present state; we chose to not be bothered pondering what it is we 
by ‘wagering’ on options meant that we could figure not, more focused on practicalities of 
living in void and un-attached surviving all alone, not that we did not feel for her, it was 
quite the contrary we all felt, we felt for her then and after she passed on mulled given she might 
be in a station pining after all, we were unwilling to dismiss her notion of being hurt 
about to die indeed deceased, and as it turned out it appeared we just could not her notions grasp 
as they simply were improbable for us to figure well at the time but we respected them. 
 
We knew she was trying hard to tell us something how she felt we might be able be to grasp it 
knowing she often said we could if we tried hard enough, consistent with the missive in one of 
her songs that brought the issue of ‘missing her and missing us’ to the fore to start with given it 
appeared important to her that we were not overly dependent on anyone even on 
our own mother although she realized attachments to a mother is for life, thus, she seemed to 
have struggled to resolve a conflict in her mind that she considered unresolvable, one that 
apparently she was unwilling to exploit; the prospects of ‘freeing’ herself from commitments 
she strongly felt that she must ever keep, she did not want to say that after all she was only 
bonded to us and not attached to us she did not need us for nourishment for safety and she 
did not need us for security and could simply walk away, and not have to pine in an angst. 
 
So, we at last started putting the bits and pieces of her thoughts together deeper meanings we 
began to see in notions hitherto we could not fathom we could not resolve, our conflict see 
in one much bigger context that is way beyond attachment, and is far more complicated than 
bonding appears to be, and with both if extracted from a maze, of life not fully graspable, 
lost in a complex state that we all find ourselves in void delimiting our space or meshing we 
want into one mind one vast universal mind choices we make for instance to acknowledge that 
in bonding we may be seeing that being attached to one’s mother it compliments, maybe it is 
time we explained what by these choices we mean lest we run into a similar situation 
that long ago our mother did trying to let us into what her story was about, how we 
must bonding see as being the mirror image of attachment we cannot discount, conflictual 
not these two are our mother tried to let us know posing a quiz then in a story short, in songs. 
 
Our study thus shows us we choices have to make between embracing unity in void among 
us or not we may wager or not we must nonetheless remember our commitments we must not 
forget we have to ever keep, a mother is also ‘attached’ in ways hard to explain she does 
not walk away, as we see in now in our world and as existed in a distant past, ere now 
and ever will that link between a mother and her child be we must all admit, as we must that 
the notions of attachment and of bonding from a maze extracted hence isolated making 
little sense in a maze defaced, in other words alive or dead forget me not each says, and who 
may certain be that death a sacred link severs? How may we sure be there is no connection we 
are yet to grasp between a mother and her child that’s way beyond attachment and bonding as we 
view them that in those linked may manifest in songs, sacred energy fields wherever they may be. 
 
How these links may be happening in ways we may not now fully figure studies must stir in us 
that we need to support, that we may better comprehend not only that special relationship 
that we have with our mothers better know our world, for we cannot and must not toss a state we see 
ramifications it has everywhere we look, a state that simply put defines our world in more 
ways than we could figure given the mystery inherent in dyadic states attachment and 
in bonding we need to see in a sense generic to fully grasp the sacredness of caring 
for ourselves and for one another as we in one mind, a universal mind that ought to make 
us pause and think, consider why we ought to come together one and all unite to forge a world 
anew, a new world order hail, ecumenism see we must embrace, why we should view these as 
the way forward to better make our world, a world united in a common goal, to save our world.